San Angelo teen finds her 'forever family' thanks to adoption by local foster parents

SAN ANGELO — Home for Destany Ellis-Dearborn used to be an emergency shelter in Colorado. Then, at the age of 12, it became a series of beds — one at an aunt's house and another with a grandparent, bouncing from relative to relative until Destany began living with a group of six other girls in the Texas foster care system.

It's been five years, but the word 'home' has at last taken on a new and more familiar — more permanent — meaning. 

On Tuesday, July 6, 2021, Kristin Ellis-Dearborn and Stephanie Ellis-Dearborn became Destany's mother and mother, officially adopting the 17-year-old into their family after spending ten months as Destany's foster parents.

"It feels really good," Destany said, smiling. "This is probably the most stable home I've lived in.

How it all began...

Stephanie and Kristin both teach band classes at Central High School. They became certified foster parents in August 2020, a decision the couple made together in January after one of their students was withdrawn from school abruptly by Child Protective Services.

Stephanie said they discovered the child's parents had been arrested, and the nearest location the child could be placed was in Coleman, Texas.

"If there are no available foster homes in San Angelo, children have to be sent out of town," Kristin said.

More than 75% of Tom Green County children needing foster homes can't stay 

In May 2021, there were 157 Tom Green County children listed in the foster care system, according to state data provided by the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.

This means the total number of at-risk children in Tom Green County needing foster homes in May was more than the maximum number of people allowed at the top floor of the Cactus Hotel — 150 people, according to the local fire code.

Out of those 157 children, there were 37 (about 24%) who were able to find foster homes in or around San Angelo. More than 75% of Tom Green County children were transported out of the area, according to state data.

Additionally in May, there were 100 Tom Green County children who were placed outside the region as defined by DFPS.

Region 9, of which Tom Green County is listed, includes the following  counties: Andrews, Borden, Coke, Concho, Crane, Crockett, Dawson, Ector, Gaines, Glasscock, Howard, Irion, Kimble, Loving, Martin, Mason, McCulloch, Menard, Midland, Pecos, Reagan Reeves, Schleicher, Sterling, Sutton, Terrell, Upton, Ward, and Winkler County, according to DFPS.

"We need foster homes badly in San Angelo," Stephanie said. "It's heartbreaking."

Kristin and Stephanie said the process of becoming certified foster parents normally takes about six months, and said they were assisted by a foster agency, A World for Children, which lists 14 locations around Texas.

"They helped us with paperwork and kept us up to date on training to be foster parents," Stephanie said, noting after they became certified, Destany came into their lives.

"We didn't get into this to adopt," Stephanie said. "We really just wanted to foster teens and help them through the college process."

Meeting Destany, who was available for adoption after both her biological parents terminated their rights, changed Stephanie and Kristin's minds, who admitted being "a little nervous" at first.

Kristin said they made sure Destany was comfortable with the idea of going to a foster care home with a same-sex couple.

"We are a non-traditional couple. We met a few times before Destany was placed with us, and it just felt really great," Stephanie said.

'Things get better. I didn't always believe that.'

After being adopted, Destany said "a weight had been lifted" off her shoulders.

"Things get better. Everybody told me that 'things get better,' and I didn't believe them, but here I am," she said.

Both Stephanie and Kristin are happy Destany gets to have a more normal life — being able to have friends, going out and having fun in a safe environment, and then getting to return home without the fear of facing abuse or neglect. 

"Before I met (Stephanie and Kristin), I wasn't doing great in school," Destany said. "I was making bad choices. And then after I moved in with them and got comfortable, I realized I didn't have to act out... I could focus on myself."

Kristin said Destany's grades went from "all F's to straight A's" in the course of a year.

"She passed her Texas STAAR test. In a year, she completely turned it all around," Kristin said. 

At first, Destany said she tried to play a musical instrument to be in the same class with her two mothers, but prefers to do cheerleading and tumbling instead. She hopes to make the Central Cheer team during her senior year.

Destany also has big dreams after graduating.

"I want to be a pediatrician," Destany said, whose college tuition will be paid in full as part of being in the foster care system. Other benefits foster care children in Texas receive include educational vouchers for textbooks as well as health insurance until they reach the age of 25.

"We haven't paid a dime out of our pockets for any of her medical needs," Stephanie said. "There are several programs out there that will help her navigate school."

Stephanie and Kristin hope other adults in Tom Green County consider becoming foster parents. To them, making a difference in the life of a child has been a rewarding and invaluable experience.

"It's worth it," Stephanie said. "We're ordinary people, and we were able to make this huge impact on one kid. Anybody can do this ...There are so many kids in our city that need to be adopted, that need homes."

How to adopt or foster a child in Tom Green County

For more information on how to become foster parents, or to learn how to adopt a child, visit the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services online, the Texas Adoption Resource Page.

To provide other assistance to children living in foster care, consider reaching out to Concho Valley Home for Girls, which can be visited online at ConchoKids.org.

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John Tufts covers enterprise and investigative topics in West Texas. Send him a news tip at JTufts@Gannett.com.